Quotable QuotesMemorable quotes and quips
about espresso from the forums
The Announcements above the forum listing frequently contains "quotable quotes" nominated by Team HB and the membership. Entries in the announcements are limited to recent quotable quotes; below is the unabridged collection with links to their source in the forums. We hope these nuggets of wisdom and amusing quips will lead you to a deeper understanding of the art of espresso.
"The Italians don't need it, they invented espresso. The French don't need it, they're better at everything food-related. The English don't need it, they drink tea. The Dutch don't need it, as we know it better. The Germans/Swedes need a manual because..." --Marcel, The surprising things you can learn from a user manual
Don't judge a book by its cover
"If you want espresso porn, grind coarse and overstuff the basket. The shot will pour and look gorgeous; the taste ... not so much." --Jim Schulman, Am I sentenced to a life of single-dosing voodoo?
Average isn't half bad
"Milk is your best friend for less impressive shots." --Randy, I accept espresso that's only "OK"
I don't want to become a barista
"The jump from no-fuss to gimme-fuss [espresso preparation] takes on greater importance as one moves to more delicate roasts. Maybe I've got simple tastes, but I tend to prefer more traditional roasts that also happen to be easier to pull consistently without much fuss." --Tom, "But I don't want to become a barista"
First we had truthy, now we have sciency (?)
"I think that readers really need to be careful to distinguish what is backed up and supported by rigorous experimental work and what is subjective opinion." --Luca Costanzo, Biggest Scientific Study on Espresso Extraction
Important to experiment and keep an open mind
"I would not say it is a mistake for people to read as much as they can when they are getting into coffee, but it is important to experiment and learn and be prepared to waste a bit of time and coffee and have an open mind." -- Paul Pratt, Cafelat Robot User Experience
Why didn't I think of that?
"It's the water. Don't put water in the boiler and you will not have wet pucks." --Richard, How to avoid wet pucks with spring lever?
Useful information is overrated
"As a long-time moderator, I've learned to never underestimate a first-time poster's ability to ignore useful information in their quest to get an answer." --Dan Kehn, Why do the same questions have to be answered every 60-90 days?
When price doesn't matter (?)
"I don't care what's involved in coffee... anybody willing to pay that much for any coffee has WAY more money than common sense. For that price per/lb I could buy around 650 lbs. of quality green and be set for quite awhile." --Timmy (Espresso_Junky), Anyone tasted Espresso Lab's $250 cup of coffee
Something you never knew you needed
"If you insulated the machine when not in use, it should reduce the energy usage as it would reduce heat loss. Placing something like a tea cosy over the machine would do it. There's a business opportunity - custom quilts for your espresso machine." --Scott M, Leaving it on 24/7
Sloppy pucks are a good thing
"The idea that the puck should be firm and knock out neatly is not just wrong, it's actually bad. The finer the grind; the sloppier, gooier, and wetter the puck. But for good extractions, you want a fine grind. A major point of pressure profiling is long preinfusions with grinds so fine they would stall out an ordinary espresso machine." --Jim Schulman, Lelit Bianca User Experience
"Sigh... I should have remembered the first rule of bulletin boards: never give advice to anyone who already knows what they want to do." —Jim Schulman, Comments on Niche Zero Review