You've Plunged Down The Rabbit Hole When:

Want to talk espresso but not sure which forum? If so, this is the right one.
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#1: Post by JB90068 »

Words like upgradeitis and accessoritis become part of your normal vocabulary.

When 9 bars no longer means you are doing a pub crawl.

When you realize that names like La Marzocco, Weber, KafaTek, Lagom and Slayer are not a law firm.

When you become a James Hoffman patreon and wonder if his glasses would look good on you even though you don't wear glasses.

When you know what flow control, RDT and WDT mean since they are part of your normal workflow.

When you get into conversations with another caffeinated espresso geek over the hole pattern differences between VST and IMS baskets.

When you hear the jingle "The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup" and it makes you twitch violently.

When you realize that just like Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy, there is no Juan Valdez.

When you stop at a truck stop only to get gas and to pee.

When first or second crack is no longer your visual association of plumbers.

When you stop spelling espresso with an "X".

When you have a high end flat burr grinder sitting next to a high end conical grinder because you "know" that your flat burrs are better for espresso and your conical burrs are best for V60 even though only a Q Grader could tell the difference between the two.

When you ask your local roaster when the beans were roasted and how long they have off-gassed before you buy them.

When you start single dosing your beans into bean vaults with one way valves.

When you feel you can justify buying a refractometer.

When you start wearing t-shirts with coffee roasters or manufacturers logos on them.

When 3rd Wave isn't just surfing speak.

When you invite friends over for drinks and instead serve them rounds of espresso shots.

When you plumb your machine into a dedicated $500. water filter and check it weekly with a TDS meter.

When descaling isn't something you step off in the bathroom or what you do to a fish.

When you become familiar with the names of single origin beans, their flavor notes and the plantations they come from.

When you pay for your beans with crypto.

When you have to buy a separate chest freezer to store your growing collection of roasts. And when those beans are worth more than the wines in your wine cellar.

When spending $30./lb for beans seems reasonable or when you feel you got a deal on some Ethiopian geisha that cost less than $100. /lb.

When you start wondering how much money you would save if you started roasting your own beans.

When you look at your wife's rose garden and think about how much better it would look with Arabica coffee bushes instead.

When your annual coffee budget exceeds the GNP of a few small countries.

When you travel with a portable espresso maker, hand grinder, scale and enough beans to last the duration of the trip.

When your vacations become "coffeecations" and you travel only to countries with regions that produce your favorite beans.

When you look at your morning's latte art and think: "I bet I could sell this as an NFT."

When you fantasize about starting your own YouTube coffee channel.

When you don't just get fines while driving your car and channeling doesn't require Molly and a seance.

When you go to your local cafe and order in Italian and thank the barista by saying "Grazie mille" even though he only works there in between acting gigs.

When it's okay to drink an espresso martini at breakfast because, duh, it has coffee in it.

When you would rather drink a cat piss venti than a Starbucks venti.

When you fail to heed the advice of those of us who have disappeared down the rabbit hole when we tell you "run away" and to drink Red Bull, Tim Hortons or even Starbucks instead.

If I've missed any, please feel free to add your own.
Old baristas never die. They just become over extracted.
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#2: Post by jrham12 »

If you have a "backup grinder"! (or 2 or 3!)

When you pay more for a new tamper than your friends pay for their drip coffee maker.

When dialing in a new bean from a new roaster is the highlight of your weekend.

When your friends mistake your grinder for a microscope.

Next!!! :)

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#3: Post by Mad Scientist »

When your grinder is Snow in color and you powder coat your espresso machine Snow.

When you paint your coffee room Snow to match your coffee gear.

When you walk into your coffee room and think it looks normal.
“You haven't lived until you've lived with a cat.” Doris Day


#4: Post by kidloco »

When searching the internet for acupuncture needles so you can make your own WDT tool.

When you have 0.01gr precision scale but you are not a heroin dealer, just measuring your water.

Making "your" water.

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JB90068 (original poster)
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#5: Post by JB90068 (original poster) »

All of these are good. Keep them coming!
Old baristas never die. They just become over extracted.

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#6: Post by CoffeeMac »

When half of your kitchen counter space is dedicated to coffee gear.

When you are dedicated to reducing your carbon footprint but still order $200+/kg beans grown in Central America and roasted in the Netherlands shipped to your home in California.

When you excitedly share an article on advanced coffee cherry fermentation techniques with all of your friends, thinking that they care.
Eventually you will end up with a lever.

LMWDP #706

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#7: Post by DamianWarS »

do you remember the Seinfeld episode where poppie doesn't wash his hands? that awkward shaking your head no is all you can muster when someone offers you a coffee at their house.


#8: Post by Bluenoser »

when you overhear your friends tell the 'newbie'.. "don't ask him about the coffee"

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#9: Post by Peppersass »

When you spend hundreds of hours building custom plumbing, electronics and software to add flow/pressure profiling to your very expensive espresso machine.

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#10: Post by caffeinatedjen »

When you think arranging your espresso cups on your espresso machine in the appropriate holiday colors is a fun holiday decoration.
When you are in a panic if you run out of green coffee beans or your roaster goes on the fritz and you have to buy coffee roasted who knows when.