Hall of Shame: ''What I did when I was a newbie...'' - Page 11

Want to talk espresso but not sure which forum? If so, this is the right one.
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drgary
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#101: Post by drgary »

keyo wrote:Besides all the usual stuff like using preground supermarket coffee, I put my portafilter in the dishwasher to give it a good clean.

Little did I know this stupid aluminum breville thing was coated in some sort of shiny paint. All the coating has worn off now and it looks awful.
Maybe it was just polished aluminum, like this.

I'm still a newbie restorer. Yesterday I took two Microcimbali aluminum boilers I'd brought up to a mirror polish and put them in a dishwasher with detergent, on heavy scrub setting. I "thought" I'd get the polish off of them. Well, I took the polish off all right! The one on the left is after another hour of repolishing. The one on the right now has a sooty layer of aluminum oxide. That stuff oxidizes a bit faster than I'd thought! :oops:

Look familiar?



OK. Pre-history. Grew up drinking Maxwell House pre-ground from the can in a Chemex, at least. Cuban American college roommate "turned me on" to Cafe Bustelo, pre-ground and cooked in a Bialetti moka pot. That stuff needed lots of sugar. Moved to California, got a Krups steam toy and whirly blade. Fell in love with Peet's and enjoyed Starbucks for many years but couldn't understand why coffee always gave me indigestion, even when I brewed through Melitta filter. Then a Ferry buddy turned me onto Blue Bottle. That was the beginning of the end. Tried to brew that BB Hayes Valley blend in my now badly scaled Krups. It made one very nice shot. Next try, it looked like it was going to explode so I threw it out. Now I would get a really good machine. Found a Saeco on eBay that I learned was a brand Starbucks sold. Goodie! Bought that. Then a Blue Bottle barista (Charlie) suggested I read HB. That was the end of the beginning. Asked for advice here on the Saeco and was put on the right path after pushing back to "show me" why you couldn't create the right pressure and temperature in my Saeco with de-pressurized portafilter. :oops: :oops: Some people are slow learners. I did keep the Krups carafe and used it for a long time catching the spritzers from the bottomless portafilter I eventually bought for my Amica. You see I wasn't able to count on the espresso pouring straight down into a little cup. The journey continues ...

Come to think of it, Krups has gotten the most mention of almost any brand on this site. Perhaps we can start a Krups thread or hold a contest or something. LOL
Gary
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What I WOULD do for a good cup of coffee!

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BruceB
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#102: Post by BruceB »

Before I really got into espresso I worked in a bike shop. Like any 'good' bike shop we had our own espresso machine, a big 2 group commercial machine (behind a dedicated bar no less, it was a really nice set up to be fair).

At that point I was putting in a 4hr+ training ride in most mornings, first thing I would do on getting into the shop and the machine had warmed up was stuff the portafilter with as much coffee as it could hold, slam it into place and then just run the machine until I had a full cup of coffee. Rinse and repeat.

Obviously it tasted foul, but it did contain the desired caffeine. It also didn't help that we couldn't play with the grind setting (at that point of my journey this was probably for the best) and we'd have a huge bag of beans that we'd make our way through over the course of a few weeks, so usually the coffee was stale to boot.
It's all in the grind, Sizemore. Can't be too fine, can't be too coarse. This, my friend, is a science.
Grimes - Black Hawk Down

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the_trystero
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#103: Post by the_trystero »

This happened this morning, so I can't blame it on being a newbie.

After smelling this wonderful Don Pachi Geisha I was so overwhelmed and discombobulated that I flipped the Aeropress into my cup WITHOUT putting the cap on first. Ugh. I dumped it all back into the Aeropress and did it the right way but there were grinds all over the place. And it was still pretty damned nice.

"A screaming comes across the sky..." - Thomas Pynchon

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drgary
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#104: Post by drgary »

Now that's something you can chew on! :lol:

BTW, glad you yielded to temptation to give that two group CMA lever a good home.
Gary
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What I WOULD do for a good cup of coffee!

coryforsenate
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#105: Post by coryforsenate »

I thought I was rocking it with my $60 Delonghi espresso machine and a $40 Mr. Coffee "burr" grinder :mrgreen:

Marshall_S
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#106: Post by Marshall_S »

the_trystero wrote:This happened this morning, so I can't blame it on being a newbie.

After smelling this wonderful Don Pachi Geisha I was so overwhelmed and discombobulated that I flipped the Aeropress into my cup WITHOUT putting the cap on first. Ugh. I dumped it all back into the Aeropress and did it the right way but there were grinds all over the place. And it was still pretty damned nice.

<img>
Been there...done that! :mrgreen:
LMWDP#384

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doubleOsoul
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#107: Post by doubleOsoul »

Remember my maple syrup and bacon comment from the "craziest" thread? Well, I might know a little something about that. After living in Central and South America for years and roasting in cast iron pans over open fire, I wanted to continue hand roasting once I was back in Canada. I used to roast my beans in the oven and add maple syrup during first crack (not after). I was known to roast using different fats such as almond oil and bacon. I owned a Charbux barista grinder that never broke down from grinding all that gooey mess. My insanity did not end there either. As a side job to my lucrative (cough, cough) banking career, I use to sell coffee baskets featuring flavored coffees such as highlander grogg, vanilla hazelnut and... okay that's all I'm 'fessing up to from my early days. I'm already disgusted with myself and if I keep going, some coffee geek might wanna kick my a**...lol.
OO

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drgary
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#108: Post by drgary »

So OO ... :shock: ... I'm trying to imagine ... how does roasted coffee taste that's coated in bacon fat? :?: I mean ... I'm aghast you see ... stuck for words. Ah ... also falling off my chair! :lol: Okay, there are my three smilies.

So what, I mean WHAT did adding maple syrup do to that coffee? Did it not matter because you roasted it dark enough it was like barbecue sauce or something, disappearing into blackness?

Or, what? I mean I can't imagine. How did you roast it so it would blend in some palatable way with flavored syrups? I'm losin' it here. Better stop. I don't think you wanna explain yourself anyway. Amazing you didn't stick with your (banking) day job but glad you made it through coffee newbie purgatory to end up cooking in the flames with the rest of us.
Gary
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What I WOULD do for a good cup of coffee!

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doubleOsoul
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#109: Post by doubleOsoul »

:lol: :oops:
I had the notion that maple, bacon essence and coffee beans would mean some tasty shots or what I thought to be shots back in the day. Didn't do it every time but I was always an experimentin' fool. I didn't know a lick about first and second cracking I'll have you know. I just roasted until they were chocolate brown.

I had to hustle a dollar out of 15 cents in those days and unless a person was running the bank, there was no career in minimum wage banking (that and the 5 stick ups I had to live through). drgary, you can see why I turned to writing. I'm like Iceberg Slim or Donald Goines with the life stories.

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drgary
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#110: Post by drgary »

Ya know I just thought about what it might do to coat the beans with bacon grease and then throw 'em in the pan. You'd kinda seal in the stuff inside by crisping what's outside, right? Anyone care to comment on this kind of roasting innovation? That's real shake 'n bake! :lol:
Gary
LMWDP#308

What I WOULD do for a good cup of coffee!