GeneG wrote: But since the barista class I think I've just plunged the wand into the milk.
Yes, I think you have over-applied your experience on the La Marzocco to your home machine. Try your previous technique again where you forcibly (but carefully) introduce some air near the surface. You'll want to do this only at the beginning of the process -- by the time the milk starts to feel warm, you should already have achieved some expansion in the milk, at which point you'll want to sink the tip for a good whirlpool / roll.
Try taking the thermometer out and going by touch for a while... so you can really focus on the movement and expansion of the milk instead of the readout. Your opposite hand can feel the side of the pitcher and by the time its getting uncomfortable to touch, you'll probably be in the zone. Use the thermometer only occasionally to calibrate your sense of touch.
Also, the volume of milk you're steaming may work better in a 12 oz pitcher. I like my cold milk to come up to 1-2cm below the bottom of the spout. This gives me enough depth to manipulate the whirlpool. Shallower milk in a larger pitcher can be harder to deal with, depending on how powerful your steam wand is.