I've (admittedly) posted this on CG, but thought others might enjoy it - so this is completely a 'good faith' cross-post. If that's still seen as inappropriate, my humblest apologies.


It's gotta be the Cremina. Why? ...

My GeekOut! Review

Since 1928, each Cremina has been hand-crafted by blind Swiss artisans, taking approximately seventeen months to produce. Why so long you ask? Well, the process starts with hand mining the ore for the metal, as chronicled by Sebastio Salgado in his photo journalism series on Brazil's Pelada mines, then each part is hand worked by a fifth-generation smithy over a Yirgacheffe coffee-branch fired forge. A team of tenured professors from MIT are then flown-in to complete the electrical wiring and the final product is buffed to a fine polish with only the most select marmot fur.

Apart from the obvious design advantages (the Cremina comes standard with front, back, top, bottom and two sides), it really shines with tamping your fair-trade, shade-grown, organic, single-estate, individually-roasted to just past second-crack blend - and how can that be? It's because, with water at the ¾ mark on the sight glass, the Cremina has been designed to weigh exactly 30 pounds. With your tamper removably bolted to the Cremina's bottom, simply lower the machine onto and into the portafilter below. No fuss. No guesswork. Perfect.

Pulling a shot with the Cremina brings lovely dark mousetails, starting with deer-mouse and building to a finale of field-mouse. The crema's thick and persistent, like a telemarketer with a low IQ. And the varying colours ... a consistent, subtle mix of Pantone 16-4-7C, 731M and 17-1044 TCX - none of that 19-1220 TCX you'd get with a La Pavoni or Elektra MCAL. Faema President Lever? Spare me.

To quote Shakespeare (no less), specifically Bottom from A Midsummer Night's Dream - "The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man's hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report, how good a shot of espresso the Cremina extracteth".

As an aside (for those who go for that sort of thing), the Cremina has a storied history in film and television. Sure the Europiccola was in Live and Let Die (poseur) but the Cremina has been doubly and directly inspirational - first the boiler on/off light being HAL's red 'eye' in 2001: A Space Odyssey, and also as the design 'Eureka!' moment for Raymond P Cusick (for the Daleks in Doctor Who) - "re-ca-ffein-ate ... RE-CA-FFEIN-ATE!!".

My own Cremina? I can immodestly let slip that it was prominently featured in The Edge with Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin (the Cremina played the part of the bear). That's versatility.

Cremina ... take a bow. Good boy.



... mock what you love, love what you mock

Cameron,

Thank you for cross posting!

Well done! I really appreciate your humour and that you don't take your love of your espresso machine too seriously.

Welcome to Home-Barista.

OOh, How long did it take to remove your tongue from your cheek. As a Cremina owner I have a vested, bested, interest in what is posted. Riiight. I love the machine so I enjoy all manner of stuff about it.
Thanks!
Respectfully
~Richard

espressme wrote:OOh, How long did it take to remove your tongue from your cheek.

hahaha!

Cameron, nice work! A bit of humor is a nice change of company to my morning cappuccino with the methodical tick of a pressurestat off in the kitchen and a humble glow from the blinds on a dull overcast morning

Original stuff. Nice change of pace. Welcome.