Tim Hortons bans complaining customer

by **Martin** on Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:59 pm

CBC News wrote:A coffee enthusiast in St. Andrews, N.B., has learned the customer may not always be right. After complaining three times about "burnt" decaffeinated coffee at the local Tim Hortons, Jimmy Craig is now banned for life from that outlet and the one in nearby St. Stephen.

(cont'd)

by **Beezer** on Mon Feb 08, 2010 7:05 pm

If the coffee is so bad there, why does he even want to go back? If I got banned from Starbucks for complaining about their coffee, I wouldn't bother fighting it. I can make better coffee at home. Sounds like he just likes to complain.

by **another_jim** on Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:40 pm

This sounds like a potential breakthrough. Instead of avoiding Starbucks by being the boring coffee Nazi, you can just tell your pals you're banned :wink:

by **Randy G.** on Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:50 pm

Beezer wrote:... If I got banned from Starbucks for complaining about their coffee, I wouldn't bother fighting it. ....

If I got banned from Starbies I would want it in writing on corporate letterhead so I could frame it and hang it on the wall over my espresso machine.

another_jim wrote:This sounds like a potential breakthrough. Instead of avoiding Starbucks by being the boring coffee Nazi, you can just tell your pals you're banned

I LIKE IT!

"Sorry.. I'd love to have coffee with you, and I would gladly have even paid for it, but I've been banned from all Starbucks and they will arrest me for trespassing."
...All I need to do now is practice that so I can say it with a straight face.
:cry:

<-- like that

by **Beezer** on Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:54 pm

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/7/4/633507749026579250-soup-nazi.jpg

by **chris** on Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:18 pm

Mother Parker's use to roast their coffee for them. Now they roast their own.

by **brokemusician77** on Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:38 pm

CBC News wrote:Meanwhile, he can only return to the Tim Hortons if he's on the job as a paramedic, responding to a medical emergency." !!!?

Huh?!!

"Don't worry sir, we'll take care of that sucking chest wound, right after I stop and grab a XL Decaf Double Double. Uh..., do you want some Timbits while I'm at it?"

by **JmanEspresso** on Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:35 am

Classic.

"NO! We will serve our coffee, and YOU WILL LIKE IT!.... If not, you shall face the consequences!"

Whats funny, is that the fella who was banned probably doesn't have a clue about fresh coffee, because if he did, he wouldn't expect Tim Hortons to serve anything remotely close to it. So if whatever he makes at home is that much better, I dont even want to know how bad it is at the restaurant. :shock:

by **Nik** on Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:53 am

I am surprised I wasn't banned form SB a couple of weeks ago after demanding that they remake my cappuccino twice. I watched the very young college part timer reheat the milk twice. More people should complain IMHO. I have been there the last time.

by **Martin** on Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:12 am

Nik wrote:I am surprised I wasn't banned form SB a couple of weeks ago after demanding that they remake my cappuccino twice. I watched the very young college part timer reheat the milk twice. More people should complain IMHO. I have been there the last time.

Maybe you need some getting-banned coaching? Some helpful hints:

1. "SWILL!"" (of course, shouted) By definition, it's objectionable, and it has effete, withering undertones. If served lukewarm, you may substitute "pond water."
2. Don't waste your time calling it "burnt." They might take it as a compliment.
3. More people might indeed complain, but don't skimp on preparedness. I always carry a few leaflets with the corporate phone numbers and the manager's home address.
4. For tough cases, refer to the barista's race, age, gender, or national origin.

If these fail, more can be found in the archives of alt.coffee

by **Randy G.** on Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:46 pm

Martin wrote: Some helpful hints on getting banned from Starbucks:
1. "SWILL!"" (of course, shouted) By definition, it's objectionable, and it has effete, withering undertones. If served lukewarm, you may substitute "pond water."
2. Don't waste your time calling it "burnt." They might take it as a compliment.
3. More people might indeed complain, but don't skimp on preparedness. I always carry a few leaflets with the corporate phone numbers and the manager's home address.
4. For tough cases, refer to the barista's race, age, gender, or national origin.

5. "Maybe if you spent less time getting body art and piercings, and more time learning how to make coffee I wouldn't have spit that muck out on the counter."
6. "A little less hair in the next one, please."
7. "Is that open sore on your lip representative of a communicable disease?"
8. "Yummy... taste's like chicken!"
9. "Next time could you put the COFFEE in the cup and empty the DRIP TRAY in the sink?"
10. "If me 'n the boys wanted to drink mucilage we'd've ordered mucilage."


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