Deep in the thread Some thoughts on heat exchanger vs. double boiler espresso machines, I wrote the following in reply to some respondents' apparent unconditional recommendation of double boiler espresso machines:

HB wrote:Double boilers as a class are not intrinsically easier if you measure by what's in the cup. For example, if I were given the mission of training a newbie for a "competition" scheduled one hour from now using whatever platform I choose, the La Marzocco GB-5 would be one of my last choices, despite that it won WBC sponsorship for 2006-2008.

Later Andy asked why I wouldn't choose the La Marzocco and would an additional hour of preparation time change my answer. You can follow the link above if you wish to read my reply, but it got me thinking about what would be my "ultimate newbie espresso station" if such a mock competition were held.

So let's formalize the rules of this thought experiment. Imagine that you're attending a coffee conference and a sponsor is awarding your dream espresso machine to whomever wins a mock newbie barista competition. The rules are simple:

• You have one hour to coach someone pulled from a pool of newbies. Each candidate has previous coffee tasting experience, but no prior hands-on barista experience.
• Your barista protegee will serve only two espressos and two cappuccinos. They have fifteen minutes to complete this task and will not be penalized for any technical errors, wastage, etc. Two sensory judges will assess the espressos and cappuccinos.
• Assume at this huge coffee conference that you will have the selection of any espresso equipment or coffee you need, however it must be commercially available (no do-it-yourself equipment modifications or homeroasted coffees allowed).

So what gear would you pick? What techniques would you specifically coach your protegee on? Is there a particular type of coffee you would choose? If so, why?

A Robur - half the job done!

HB wrote:So let's formalize the rules of this thought experiment.

Let's stipulate that the contestants have no wristwatches or other timepieces and the (analog) clock on the wall lacks a second-hand.

Dan,

I know they are forbidden territory here but do the rules exclude a super-auto? With it the problem then becomes teaching milk frothing (or not, depending on the machine) and deciding on the correct coffee.

Bill

Smart thinking Bill, I see where you're going with that. But to keep the discussion closer to home, let's assume no super-automatics, pods, or capsules are permitted. The competitors are allowed whatever aids they deem necessary, e.g., stopwatch, scale, whatever.

Do they get to use automatic tampers? Combine one with a very high end grinder and you should be able to dramatically simplify dose distribution, and level surface (even if you don't care about a traditional 30lb tamp).

By the way, with malachi's "how many of you are NOT arguing that your own personal machine type (DB, HX) is superior?" question fresh in my mind from the DB vs HX thread, I'll be the first to nominate my machine for the worst choice for the competition. As much as I love my Pavoni, I imagine that of the machines that cost as much as a Pavoni or more there are probably few that would be worse suited for a newbie competition with limited training and multiple drinks (ie more than two) required in a short period.

If you mean automatic tampers like the Macap CPS Dynamometric Tamper (~$300 retail) or the Espro tamper (~$90 retail), yes, they're allowed.

Yep, those are exactly what I was wondering about - anything to get rid of a variable. For that matter, to spin Bill's suggestion around, what about a machine like the quickmill auto-frother? I assume those are like super automatics for milk and should be ruled out, too.

Yes, auto-frothers are out. While I understand wanting to win this mythical competition, let's leave your protegee barista something to do besides warm cups and press buttons. This is not starbucks.com ya know.

hmmm

Baskets: Synesso ridgeless double or triple
Grinder: Versalab M3
Tamper: Versalab Packer

Pitcher: Motta 35cl
Capp Cups: 49th Parallel Coffee Roasters 8.5oz
Shot Cups: Intelli 3oz

Now you guys do the machine & coffee