I always have a piece of rubber at the edge of our granite counter where I tap my portafilter on to let the grounds set.I do this quite vigorously.
Been doing this for 20 years .
This morning I did it exactly as always but the rubber had fallen on the ground and I knocked a piece of two by two inch out of the counter .We paid 7500 $ for that plate of granite.
I'm doomed.She''ll be home from work in two hours.
I need a place to stay.
All hell's about to break loose.


Any tips are appreciated.
Real ones I mean.Not things like" Man up and grow a pair of balls".

That's a tough break.

Go get some clear silicone sealant and put it back together. That might hold her off for a little bit. At least until you can come up with an excuse.

Steve P

Thanks.Just called the local hardwarestore.There's an adhesive out there that can glue the piece back in.The edges are sharp.If it works she might never notice.I'll just put the tamp mat back over it .
I'm off.

Any competent granite installation company also knows how to repair such damage.

I guess that you could do it yourself with an adhesive, but they'll do a better job by color matching the adhesive to the gap that will invariably be there post-repair. If the crack is really, really bad, they'll remove the whole sheet of granite, repair it, and then resurface it on a huge grinder/polisher, at which point it will appear absolutely new.

Fess up, don't try to hide it. We all make mistakes, and she may well be pretty pissed but in the long run you'll be better off.

Then, get it fixed by a pro, don't half ass it. And don't forget, even if there's noticeable damage after the repair, if you usually have a mat there you'll never see it anyway.

Nate42 wrote:get it fixed by a pro

+1
I managed to break a granite countertop when installing it myself, broke a long edge into quite a few pieces. The company that sold it to me glued it back perfectly - can't see any seams and has been fine over the last 10+ years.

Don't forget we're trying to help a brother out by not getting him killed within the hour... The experts and pros can fix it better later, after he sweet talks wifey. Flowers, chocolates, messages, etc are in order. Hope it works out for you.

I think your biggest problems would be if you managed to crumble it into several pieces. If the broken bits are large, I'm sure the repair can be made more than satisfactory.

Hide it. Honesty in marriage is not only extremely overrated but terribly dangerous. And, heck, the planet is fifty percent populated by women. Shouldn't be too tough to find and break in another one. If a broken counter top is that big of an issue with her, tell her you've been sleeping with her sister (or her mom if she has no female siblings), and THEN show her the counter top. It will seem trivial at that point.

And seriously (or a bit more seriously), call a pro for this. They have the correct adhesives as well as the experience to do it right and hide any flaws. You aren't the first idiot person do do something like this. Besides, work it to your advantage. Now is the time to sell her on the idea of your own, fully plumbed coffee center elsewhere in the house!

Since you're in good hands regarding your question it's left to me to address your wife's responsibility for the damage to your portafilter; hopefully you won't have to replace the whole machine.

And the new, matching grinder.

Good luck with the counter - sounds like it's going to be OK.