by NoMilkToday on Sat Dec 20, 2008 2:21 pm
Reading Rob's posts I sensed a certain unfulfillment, a secret wish to reach a higher level of happiness and satisfaction. How can I help such a nice guy? Therefore I asked Simon to study his posts. Simon is not only a friend of mine, he is also a trained anthropologist and a certified psycho analyst. Further, on a regular basis, the Amsterdam Police Force asks him to act as a profiler in their more complex serial killer cases.
Simon: "This home-barista website is very interesting. I have not seen such a wide variation of psychological profiles centered in one place in a long time. Here is an enormous amount of extraordinary material to study. I have to thank you for bringing this website under my attention."
Wilco: "Please, can we focus on Rob?"
Simon: "Sorry. Well, Rob's case is particularly interesting. Of course, my opinion can only be preliminary as I have not interviewed Rob as yet. That being out of the way, I can tell you Rob does not have much excitement in his marital life anymore."
Wilco: "Wow, how do you came to that conclusion?"
Simon: "You mean, apart from he says so himself in this thread? Well I observed that he seems to spends almost his complete time, night and day, behind his computer and posts on all threads, alive or not. He is a very productive contributor on this website. Which make me wonder who is responsible for scraping together the daily household income. I presume that will be his wife. If true, this explains the lack of marital excitement. This posting affair is really like a drug addiction."
Wilco: "I see. Can this addiction be treated?"
Simon: "Yes, there are different strategies possible, ranging from hypnosis to electro-shock therapy. Only, most of these strategies don't have a lasting effect. Perhaps, we can do something different now. Your hunch that Rob is a dog lover is correct, I think. It is a pity he does not know that himself. So my advice is, he should buy a dog. The dog could play the role of mediator between Rob and his wife. If Rob sees his wife cuddling with the family dog, he possibly wants to do the same. And after some time, when his wife sees Rob cuddling with the dog, she wants to be cuddled too. After some more time - these things can take ages in my experience - all three are cuddling each other as one big united family.
Wilco: "Sounds like a novel idea. Any suggestions about the type of dog?"
Simon: "Let me think. Important is that the dog is nice to touch. Perhaps a bold one, like the original Chihuahua. If his wife like to play with hair, Rob could also think about a French poodle. Potential problem with poodles is they are sometimes too intelligent for their owners. But - having seen his writing - in this case, I think a poodle can fit. Later on, when his wife is used to lay and play around with a small dog and her revived husband, he could expand his family with a Great Dane. That truly will excite such a household."
Wilco: "Wonderful advice! You must be an expert!"
Simon: "Don't mention it. It is indeed a wonder that I am still such a humble man. On the other hand, you seems to be an expert yourself too. This espresso tastes absolutely fantastic. And what a beautiful grinder do you have. May I touch it?"
Wilco: "It is her, not it. And if you touch her, I will kill you!"
Simon: "Oh my, sorry, no offense meant. But if I may speak freely, I admire her beautiful low pitch grinding sound. She must have a big motor, does not she? With also a start motor to help her to be on rev immediately after switching her on, right?"
Wilco: "That is correct. And her lid is just as easy to remove as with my boxed up Mazzer Mini. Yes, I love K10 .... and my wife of course."
Simon: "Hmmm, you were just in time. Are you interested in a private session?"