cwaldner wrote:OK i ordered a ssr. I notice the current relay has 8 wires on 7 poles, i wonder whats with that?

That does sound odd. Maybe two of the wires are a lamp output?
I have a Duetto and helped a friend replace the mechanical relay on his Alex - but I recall his only had 6 wires: 2 for the control, 2 line wires and 2 neutral wires. We used the SSR to only switch the line wires and jumper-ed the neutrals.
This is the before and after wiring for my Duetto relay replacement:

Is your relay down below the boiler? If above, it may be wise to move it down below. Eventually the terminal insulation on my upper mounted relay showed discoloration and became brittle. Moved it all down to the floor plate where it's much cooler.
HTH,
George