by Randy G. on Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:46 pm Martin wrote: Some helpful hints on getting banned from Starbucks:
1. "SWILL!"" (of course, shouted) By definition, it's objectionable, and it has effete, withering undertones. If served lukewarm, you may substitute "pond water."
2. Don't waste your time calling it "burnt." They might take it as a compliment.
3. More people might indeed complain, but don't skimp on preparedness. I always carry a few leaflets with the corporate phone numbers and the manager's home address.
4. For tough cases, refer to the barista's race, age, gender, or national origin.
5. "Maybe if you spent less time getting body art and piercings, and more time learning how to make coffee I wouldn't have spit that muck out on the counter."
6. "A little less hair in the next one, please."
7. "Is that open sore on your lip representative of a communicable disease?"
8. "Yummy... taste's like chicken!"
9. "Next time could you put the COFFEE in the cup and empty the DRIP TRAY in the sink?"
10. "If me 'n the boys wanted to drink mucilage we'd've ordered mucilage."
